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(With apologies to WT McGonagall)

lone ranger


It was a few years after nineteen fifty three,

The Lone Ranger did come to Green’s Playhouse Dundee.

The children of the town had come out in their droves

From so many families some with half loaves.


The foyer was so crowded nobody could move.

A popular cowboy the Lone Ranger did prove

With his boots his Stetson and his famous mask,

Which him to take off none of the children did ask.


But where was Tonto they did all want to know now?

Over in the Overgate looking for a cow?

For our Desperate Dan to make into a pie?

In case the Lone Ranger got a high birdie fly?


And what of those most noble steeds Silver and Scout?

Why from their stables were they not hence allowed out?

So that they could roam around Green’s Playhouse Dundee

And the Nethergate after nineteen fifty three.


Hi Ho Silver Away! Hi Ho Silver Away!

Up went the famous cry on the banks of the Tay.

Was the horse swallowed in the crowded cinema?

Having crossed the Atlantic from America.


The masked man without his horse was what they did see,

Those so very excited children of Dundee,

When like people from Lilliput they did look up

To this Gulliver who spoke and only said yup


Was he the real Lone Ranger from their TV?

That on their Saturdays they were wont to see?

But nobody will ever know if this was so.

For so soon it was time for this masked man to go.


But the children of Dundee were not like those in

That most famous German City of Hamelin

Who did follow the Pied Piper out of that town

Because in Dundee there are pies of renown,



And beautiful sunsets on the Silvery Tay.

Whence they let the Lone Ranger ride into away.

Having had a chance at the pictures him to see,

A few years after nineteen fifty three.


Then they grew up and sat in Green’s Golden Divans,

With their sweethearts those childhood Lone Ranger fans,

In the finest picture palace in all Dundee,

Wherein it was now almost nineteen sixty-three.